Always makes me happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU

Horrible subbing experience #1

HOLY CRAP, I know that words can never express the day I had at Havermale High School, but oh my goodness will I try. First of all, I am an ELEMENTARY teacher. I am certified Kindergarten through 8th grade. Middle schoolers push my buttons enough, but at least only half of them are bigger than me. High schoolers are a completely different story...especially the ones at Havermale. For those who don't know (btw I didn't when I accepted the job), this is the alternative high school in District 81. I had already received "the letter" from District 81 basically scolding me for not accepting jobs, and letting me know that if I kept doing so, I would be removed from the sub list. Since I was already in trouble, and had 5 minutes earlier declined a job at Rogers, I felt as if I should suck it up and make some money. How bad could it be? Ooooh I am so incredibly naive. On my drive downtown I talked myself up and convinced myself that I would make a great high school teacher, all I had to do was be confident. I was wrong. I pulled up to the high school, immediately regretting my decision. Not only were there G's in the parking lot, probably plotting how to steal my car when I left, but there were metal detectors at the front door. Um, hello, I am now in a Channing Tatum movie. As if I wasn't nervous enough, the secretary in the office said "you're a high school teacher right?" If only you could have seen her face when I said I had never taught high school in my life. (side note, District 81 has this thing called "urgent all-call" where schools can have elementary subs if they can't find anyone else, they just need anyone with a certificate) I had prep the first period of the day, which was nice because I had some time to prepare for the day. It didn't help. The first class I had came in, and every single one of them looked as if they were stoned, drunk, or just hated their lives. The first student to talk to me said "have you ever taught here before?" I said "no" and his response was "all I have to say is, good luck." Thanks dude, you're soooo thoughtful. Needless to say, I had ZERO control over the classroom. Two kids were making out in the corner...and I don't mean they kissed once or twice. No, they were full-on making out like they were at a freaking frat party! Less than half the students actually worked on their assignment while I walked around the room, terrified to tell them to get to work. As if that wasn't bad enough, two kids later in the day decided to just peace out of class while I was helping another student. So, I spent my entire lunch filling out truancy forms to cover my own ass. Congratulations to me, I LOST 2 STUDENTS. Pretty sure I felt like the worst teacher in the world, especially because the principal came to check on my room about once every 30 minutes. I can only imagine what the lady in the office told him. "You better go check on that little white girl cuz she's going to get destroyed by these kids." I was surprised that the secretary came into my classroom before the day was over and asked if I would come back tomorrow because the teacher was going to be gone again. No way in hell, lady. I lied right through my teeth and told her I already had a job the next day. Thankfully, I made it, and my car was still there when I got back to the parking lot...so not worth $116 bucks. At least it makes for a good story to tell :)

Winter

I love that everyone keeps saying we are going to have a mild winter. Somehow, as I drove through a blizzard (not even exaggerating) while coming into Kallispell the other night, and sitting in a football game in Chinook in 0 degrees, I find that hard to believe. I am SO moving to Hawaii. I admire those who live in this ridiculously freezing cold weather. Either that, or I sincerely question their ability to find a place to live....I love you aunt Carla :) I love family get-togethers with my mom's family. I am staying in a house with (altogether) 7 dogs and 10 people, can you tell we are a close family? We are officially the best cousins ever for sitting through Winston and Cord's football game last night, especially because they won 55-0. Go Beeters!!! (what a wonderful mascot=sugarbeeters...not really sure what a sugarbeet is).

Things I hate...and love :)

I have officially entered the world of blogging. I feel that it is only necessary that my first post be about the things that I hate. Those of you who know me know that I am a somewhat negative person from time to time. I find that it makes me happier about living with my parents and not having a full time job after finishing 4 years of college.

Things I hate.

Number one: Loud people at the library. Ok, I know I have at one point or another been one of those annoying people laughing with my friends about some stupid piece of gossip (because we all know you can’t go to the library without seeing someone you know). I am talking about those individuals who feel the need to make ridiculously unwitty jokes, and obnoxiously laugh so EVERYONE within earshot (and maybe farther) can hear them. Then, as if that isn’t annoying enough, they feel the need to talk and/or laugh to themselves, thus creating more attention to be drawn to them (just in case you didn’t hear their incessant rambling to begin with). Shut up dude, no one cares, and no one thinks you’re funny.

Number two: Rude soccer moms. I love my mom more than anything in the world. It is certain other moms that drive me insane. I have had the (we’ll call it privilege) to spend this summer babysitting twice a week. So basically, I drive 2 girls to their dance, swimming, and volleyball camps. During these wonderful camps, I realized how fricking annoying some mothers can be. I have never understood these mothers and their need to live vicariously through their children. (possibly because I have no children of my own) It is one thing to be proud of your kids, and to want the best for them. It is COMPLETELY different to tell another mom her kid sucks at volleyball. Really? You are trash talking a 9 year old. Congratulations. I was recently watching Toddlers in Tiaras with my mom and was again introduced to the same type of ridiculous mothers. I find it interesting that every single adorable little girl in this beauty pageant had a total cow for a mother. Lesson learned-No matter how cute and talented your kid is, you are still annoying.

To follow this up and show that I am not as cynical as I may seem, I would like to add a few things that I love.

Number one: TV. Grey's Anatomy started with another great premier. Even though it started out a little slow, and George's death wasn't as dramatic as it could have been (probably because everyone knew he was going to die), it still made me excited for next week's episode. Along with Grey's, Desperate Housewives=ALWAYS GOOD. Thank God Mike married Susan and not Katherine, or I may have stopped watching the show. I do however love the fact that Katherine is turning into a total stalker...should be interesting.

Number two: teaching. I have already had some very interesting experiences subbing this year. My first day was at the middle school where an 8th grader proceeded to say "screw this shit" when I gave him his assignment. I've also had some great times in 4th grade so far...and look forward to more when Tiffany heads to Hawaii. Favorite Tiffany quote: "I'm jealous of myself!"

Number three: Farmville on Facebook. I can't even believe I'm writing about this, but this is seriously what my life has come to. Last week, in Seattle, Mahyo and I discovered (through her friend Steve) Farmville and started our own farms. Needless to say, I have been RIDICULOUSLY obsessed since then. Not only do I time how long before I have to harvest my strawberries, but I plan how much money I need for new trees and more fencing for my pig and baby elephant. If that isn't awesome, I'm not sure what is.

Number four: walks of shame. I have to say my 23rd birthday outing provided with the most epic walk of shame in my adult life. Sara and I stayed at a friend's apartment, and the next day we left, her in male clothing and myself still in my dress from the night before. To make matters worse, I had to go home to my parents, and what is the first thing I do when I get inside the house? Yes...I puke, right in front of my mom. Best. Morning. Ever.

Now that I've written a novel, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from some random guy in Montana (only Dany will appreciate this)-

"You look like dog shit"